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You have no complaint. You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't. Just listen up Buster, and listen up good: stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
In the end its the daughters choice about the relationship with this man not the parents or anyone else's. If she is happy they should be happy for her too! That is what a family does unconditionally love each other whether they agree or not with each others choices or decisions. For goodness sake she is 30yrs old stop treating her like she is 12. Love is not about how many children this man has or if he is divorced its about how much he will love her. Even if she has made the wrong choice in their eyes its her choice not theirs. Who knows what will happen but she needs her family there by her side to be a great support to her either way the ball bounces.
I think the parents should let their daughter know that they do have concerns, but that’s because they haven’t met the guy yet. He could turn out to be intelligent, thoughtful, and matured by parenthood and the breakup of his first relationship. If that’s so, then they haven’t burned bridges before they even got to them. However, the daughter has only been having a long-distance relationship with this guy. She doesn’t know what he’s actually like in day-to-day life. If she moves in with him and then discovers that he was having “long-distance relationships” with several women, or that his baby mama actually left him because he’s abusive, then because her parents haven’t cut her off, she’ll have someone to turn to if she needs help getting away from the jerk.
I'm curious that if the man was divorced or a widow, if that would change the dynamics of how they feel about the situation?
It shouldn't matter if the man is divorced or a widow. I admire single dads who do their best to do the right thing for their children. The Family just had their vision of how her life should be and doesn't want to realize her life is her choosing.
I'm a divorced mom of 3, in her 40's. I'm divorced because of abuse, physical and verbal. I am in love with a man who is also divorced, in his 40's and with three kids. My parents, who live in Florida, seem to think that it is ok to give their opinion on our relationship, even tho I live in the midwest. Parents, trust that you raised your adult child well, that their mistakes are their own, that they can think and do for themselves. Don't tell them how to live their lives, but love them. They are adults. Treat them as such.
... that the grandparents might carry a double standard, depending on the circumstances which made him a single father. I don't think the commenter was making a value judgment, just wondering if the grandparents' value judgment would change if circumstances had been different.
"He and his ex decided to call it quits during her second pregnancy after going to therapy. Simultaneously our daughter started a long-distance relationship (going on a year) over the phone with him." Enough said about the characters of the daughter and the man in the past.
I think it is possible to politely express disappointment in the daughter's and man's past behavior (to the daughter only, of course), in order to explain the parents' initial lukewarm response to the situation, while still expressing a desire to remain in their daughter's life and a willingness to meet the man with an open mind and heart, get to know him and accept him as their daughter's partner.
Parents are parents, same sex or not. Wisconsin owes all of us in the US a profound and sincere apology for their immoral laws.
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