Hax: Boyfriend's debt lessens his appeal

  • Article by: CAROLYN HAX
  • Updated: October 31, 2013 - 4:36 PM

Dear Carolyn: What is a fair way for me to engage with my boyfriend’s vastly different financial situation? I am from a family that is comfortable financially, and I have zero debt. I make reasonable money for an above-entry-level job and live within those means.

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gametime68Oct. 31, 13 2:39 PM

You never mentioned where you expect this relationship to go! Do you want a relationship that results in marriage? If not, or if not with him, then don't move in together. Values-based compatibility is he biggest way to predict if a marriage will work. People put up with all kinds of things when living together that they would not accept if married. Why bother? Maybe he needs support to get his situation under control. Ask him. Tell him why you hesitate to move live with him. Will you share the lease? If he leaves are you stuck? Is he stuck if you leave? Tell him what bothers you and why. If you cannot talk with him why bother living with him?

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