Amy: Kids doing an end run around stepmom

  • Article by: AMY DICKINSON
  • Updated: October 25, 2013 - 11:06 AM

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 80. He developed some form of dementia about four years after we married, and I am his caregiver. He is very high-functioning, enjoys life, reads and has hobbies, though he has started to show some physical weakness and loss of stamina.

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mplsbigmamaOct. 25, 13 1:59 PM

In home health care (100% covered) would be a great solution for all concerned. An intervention for alcoholism & obesity is laughable. If the loved one is hospitalized for alcoholism or suicidal tendencies - ask the court for power of attorney & send them into treatment.

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Kathy_BrandtOct. 25, 13 3:19 PM

I agree on the power-play of a non-professional "intervention". My pets of choice are cats, and my sister has always made a huge issue of it, because she doesn't like cats. Two years ago at Christmas, I was telling my father that I had been hired for a new job, when my sister came up to us, and in front of my entire extended family told me that my clothes always smell like cats and that before I started my job, I needed to get rid of them, and if I didn't, she would come in and get rid of them, etc., etc. etc. I was so stunned and hurt at the power-play and the humiliation that she confronted me like that in front of my entire family that it has really strained our relationship.

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gametime68Oct. 31, 13 2:31 PM

You know what? Family meetings are not they are cracked up to be when one person wants to shove you out of the way while they "manage" your husband's assets. I suggest you get the advice on an attorney. The man is your husband and that trumps step-children. It's not up to them. Tell them in no uncertain terms that while you understand their concern for your and his comfort, that you will make the decisions regarding where you and he reside, how you do it, and under what circumstances that might change, if ever. Tell them they are welcome to provide you with relief care from time-to-time so you can visit with others. No need to explain yourself to them on any other level. The man married YOU.

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