Hax: Boyfriend won't go on her family trip

  • Article by: CAROLYN HAX
  • Updated: July 18, 2013 - 1:41 PM

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are in our early 30s and have been in a serious relationship for two years.

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Tygyr13Jul. 18, 13 2:54 PM

Wow. So easy. RUN FAST! You cannot neglect your family away to please him. You will probably end up neglecting most of your family time. Do you want to not see your family and be strapped with a self-centered immature geek that can't be part of a bigger world with the woman he loves. Run fast! There are many men out there who "embrace" family, theirs and others. You will begin to resent him. Why do women think their families are any less important that they would consider being with a guy who thought only his family was important. And worse, think the woman think what she wants is less important and will concede. If the woman's family is mean, then there's a problem, but most aren't, they are just different than what the 'poor guy' is used too. Get a clue, guy!

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loop80Jul. 20, 1312:33 AM

Wow, just because he doesn't want to go on a trip with in-laws, who aren't even in-laws yet, he is a "self-centered geek?" Sounds like a case of a pot calling a kettle black, at the very least. Maybe she doesn't see her own family in an objective way, which most do (to twist on your words). He is more comfortable with his family than her's? What a shocker! Stop the presses! If you want to marry your family, marry them. If you want to marry him, marry him. Maybe you are just too stubborn to realize your family isn't that fun to be around. And if you know what his paycheck his, he is being open and honest with you. But maybe you don't know what all of his expenses are. You are his girlfriend, not his wife. There is a big difference. Maybe he isn't confident enough in himself to be around your family. Maybe your family is boring. But he doesn't deserve any acerbic comments.

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JMarvinJul. 22, 13 8:06 AM

He is a "boyfriend" and not a husband for a reason. He doesn't want to be. The lines between the two are too often blurred, mainly by the one who hopes it is something else. A boyfriend has no obligation whatsoever to do anything with your family. A girlfriend has no dictation rights with respect to how, and with whom, he spends his time. It is only marriage that creates family.

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