Ask Amy: Adoption disclosure reveals siblings

  • Article by: AMY DICKINSON
  • Updated: June 7, 2013 - 1:23 PM

Dear Amy: I was adopted as an infant and blessed with wonderful parents and an ideal childhood. The only thing missing was a sibling — I’ve always wanted a brother or sister. My parents always told me that my birth parents were a married couple who didn’t want to have children.

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clevertJun. 12, 1310:05 AM

Dear fellow adoptee, Amy is right that it is your choice and your choice alone. You say that you have always wanted a sibling. A sibling was the one thing missing from your life. Yet, you are now hedging, and you say that you are satisfied with what you have learned. It sounds like fear to me. (And, it is scary to put yourself out there and not know how you will be received.) But, it seems that you do want to reach out to your siblings. You just wanted permission from someone. You wanted to make sure that what you want is fair to everyone else. You have a right to contact your siblings. They have a right to know you exist. You may want to consult your b-parents. You may want to tell them in advance that you are planning to contact your siblings. But, in the end, it is your decision.

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glasslassJun. 12, 13 2:09 PM

I was raised by an Aunt till my biological mother came back when i was 7. She mentioned when I was in my 20's that I "probably" had some brother and I had an older sister. At 55 I finally started looking and found 2 brothers. Everyone was telling me horror stores and urging caution. We finally met and I couldn't be more please to have them in my life. We keep looking for the sister but haven't had much luck. I hope you make some type of contact with them and at least explore the possibility of being an "only" child with siblings.

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vikesgr8fanJun. 15, 13 6:15 AM

When my father was on his deathbed he told my sister that we had a half-sister living in St. Louis, the result of his dalliance while on leave from the army. He only ever told us her first name. I have often wondered what she's like, is she happy, married, etc. I would have liked to have known her.

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