Rosenblum: Domestic abuse expert's advice: 'Ask to help'

  • Article by: GAIL ROSENBLUM , Star Tribune
  • Updated: December 16, 2013 - 4:44 PM

Bob Olson witnessed plenty of heartache in his 24 years as a police officer specializing in domestic abuse cases. But even Olson says the first part of 2013 has been “out of the ordinary.”

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keaton12May. 7, 13 6:51 AM

How about training men to be more respectful of women?

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eman2001May. 7, 13 7:59 AM

Unfortunately, the author makes this only about female victims, yet unbiased studies show that there are many male victims, who find it much harder to ask for help. Using gender-exclusive language in news stories only makes it more difficult for these men to seek help.

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eman2001May. 7, 13 8:15 AM

Something else that people should know is to never attempt to physically get involved in a domestic dispute. Either or both of the combatants might turn on you. Call 911 and let the police sort it out.

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kaynonMay. 7, 13 7:55 PM

Just "get help"" The help is all SHORT-TERM. The cops will come and cool the perp down, maybe even arrest them. Then back the perp comes--or the victim spends a lot of time trying to get the cops to enforce the DAO. In revenge the perp may stalk or drag the victim through the courts, substituting financial and emotional abuse for the physical. And that can have continuing impact for YEARS. We need to stop advocating simple solutions, and recognize that abuse has long term consequences that need to be addressed in property settlements and support, and with long-term resources. Abusees cannot just take up their mats and go on. We need to find a way to teach our children NOT TO ABUSE--and while there some female abusers, this needs to be addressed to young males, from pulpits and in the schools, instead of putting the responsibility on the abusee to "get out." And abuse--which is basically physical /emotional/ psychological slavery and torture--needs to be a much more serious crime with more serious consequences. There are more dire consequences today for mistreating a police DOG than abusing a human being.

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adaytonMay. 17, 1311:08 AM

SHORT TERM is right, especially for mothers. These women have two choices: stay with their abuser or hand their children over to their abuser for significant, unsupervised "parenting time" (as Gail Rosenblum advocated for in her column last year). Where I used to put makeup on my arms before I went out, my children now go to school with bruises on their arms while the "mandated reporters" look the other way and say they don't get involved in a family's divorce. When we all lived together, he only hurt me. I would have stayed forever if I had understood Minnesota's family law system. I know this advice will be unpopular, but to all the abused Minnesota Mothers out there: STAY.

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