Hax: She resents mom fawning over step-grandkids

  • Article by: CAROLYN HAX , Wire services
  • Updated: February 19, 2013 - 2:47 PM

Dear Carolyn: I’m a thirty-something woman in a long-term relationship with a man who I really love and like, and who my parents like, as well. We are very happy together, and have decided not to have children.

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beebee82Feb. 20, 13 9:27 AM

The first letter-writer has no right to feel resentment. Step children and step grandchildren are more of a norm than biological families these days. Why would she want to deprive her mother of the joys of grandmother-hood all together? She should probably be grateful that her stepbrothers have relieved the pressure her mother would put on her to have children. As a stepmother myself, I do have the right feel resentful of the remark "they're not her 'REAL' grandchildren at all." Another way of saying that is "those kids are fake!!" Really? Children are real, and the love the adults in their lives feel for them is real.

Step-family members who welcome their step-family members as wholly as they would their biological family members are truly wonderful people. DNA is certainly not the most binding element of families. A step parent or step grandparent is so much more than just a parent or a grandparent: they made the choice to love someone when they didn't have to.

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medvezhonokFeb. 20, 13 1:59 PM

Why is the daughter getting involved in something that is happening at her parents house. it seems to me she is forcing herself into something that is private between her parents and the cat-sitter. I am sure her parents note the missing snacks, so what? As for the online searching, why isn't there a password protecting the computer or is it that the parents allow the cat sitter to use it when they are gone. How does she know that her parents are not the ones doing the searching? In other words Stay out of the parents and the sitters business until you learn everything and quit assuming someone is doing something until there is proof.

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mnmaggiemnFeb. 21, 13 1:12 PM

You wont give her grandkids, her step kids will, shes enjoying being grandma and youre jealous, thats probably about it.

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mnmaggiemnFeb. 21, 13 1:13 PM

I honestly applaud this grand mother for NOT pointing out they are step grand kids. There is no reason to be resentful.

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hecklesFeb. 22, 1310:16 AM

No reason to resent. Are you sure YOU dont want kids? Are you sure its not your significant other that doesnt want kids? Theres something more here, there is no reason to be jelous. You arent giving her grandbabies, let her be happy grandma

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