Wedding guest has dietary restrictions

  • Article by: AMY DICKINSON
  • Updated: January 30, 2013 - 6:29 PM

Dear Amy: I’ve been invited to multiple friends’ weddings this summer. Currently, I am receiving requests for reception dinner preferences with the choice of meat, fish, or a vegetarian option consisting of pasta.

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davethedogJan. 30, 13 7:16 PM

The shower request for a second baby is tacky. As is the fact that the shower is being hosted by a close relative of the mother. I completely disagree with Amy. If someone's sister isn't going to tell them the truth, who will? Your brother should be grateful for the etiquette advice you gave him and he should tell his wife to rein in her greedy sister.

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hecklesJan. 31, 1310:34 AM

davethehog, by your name I will assume you are male. Have you ever got the joy of partaking in such an event? This is NOT greedy by any means. Its not about how much the couple can afford, some people genuinely ENJOY giving or pitching in for gifts of this sort. I have seen baby showers for multiple children, its about preference. There is nothing tacky about it. WHen you have a baby shower you can dictate what is and is not acceptable, its about the new baby and parents nothing else so as long as they are happy, that is what matters.

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hecklesJan. 31, 1310:37 AM

Its nice to see someone not complain for once about a meal served at an event. It is wonderful that this person is trying to be consierate and get their needs across. I would inquire about the side dishes, and let the couple know that you dont make it known but this is your diet and there will be no need to purchase you a plate (if the side dishes work for you) that you will be eating sides or a plate of veggies is not a bad request. I applaud that fact that you are being delightful and polite about this, its nice to see some people out there arent entitled and understand its not all about them

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davethedogJan. 31, 13 7:09 PM

Well you would assume wrong then heckles as I am a middle aged housewife. And etiquette dictates that a shower for a second baby is bad form. And etiquette also dictates that a shower of any type hosted by a close relative is considered tacky as well. Be as joyful as you want in your gift grab, just know that many people find it offensive--that's all. In the case of the letter writer, the father's own sister was offended by it. And remember, I didn't make these rules---I'm just trying to let you know what they are.

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mnmaggiemnFeb. 3, 13 9:17 AM

The father wasnt offended. If something offends you just dont participate. ITs not about gift grabbing, it is about celebrating bringing a life into the world.

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MellersFeb. 3, 1310:44 AM

I sorta agree with both/all of you. But being offended is a choice, I have learned. I have also learned that if you don't want to participate in something you don't agree with, you don't have to. You can respectfully/politely decline, send a card, and move on. Part of life is how we react to situations, and how to be thoughtful to others, and their feelings, when you don't see it the same way as they do.

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