Parents, stop your child's meltdowns

  • Article by: JULIE PFITZINGER , Special to the Star Tribune
  • Updated: January 19, 2013 - 2:03 PM

The way to keep parents and toddlers/preschoolers calm? Predictability, exercise and sleep.

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mnmaggiemnJan. 19, 13 3:34 PM

Yup the yes environment, teaching kids they can have anything in sight. When I was a kid, a trip to the car for a pow wow or a little discipline (even a time out) went a long way...

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davehougJan. 19, 13 4:49 PM

learning to teach a child NO and to accept it the first time is a tough lesson for a parent.

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QlorraineJan. 19, 13 8:35 PM

Sorry but she isn't saying to let kids have anything in sight. Her idea is to have things handy that kids can do and use - and use on their own. It's called teaching independence, self-reliance, and positive self esteem. No parent wants to have to say "no, don't get into that drawer, don't touch that, etc" all day long. And no kid wants to hear it all day long. Toddlers don't have the long term memory to remember all those rules so you'd have to repeat them MANY times before a toddler will remember what he can get into or not. Changing things a bit to be kid friendly isn't spoiling. It's empowering.

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mnmaggiemnJan. 20, 13 9:53 AM

Qlorraine, having things around your kid can use is common sense. I get that point but to have EVERYTHING around the child can use and not teaching them the word no isnt a good thing. Parents need to stop trying to make things so easy on themselves and start learning to discipline whether it be a swat on the rump, take away a favorite toy, timeout etc. kids are smarter than we give them credit for, discipline and consistancy go a long way with them.

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JMarvinJan. 20, 13 6:36 PM

There are certain features of "kids' world" and "adults' world" that do not coincide. Regular snack and nap time in a quiet, familiar location, every day, not just when it's convenient for you. A teething toddler, a hungry, or tired, or overstimulated kid, or a kid who doesn't feel well is guaranteed not to do well confined and dragged around in a car then exposed to noisy, unfamiliar places filled with unfamiliar people and told to wait and be quiet. Add the gutless lazy parents who seem to comprise the majority now, mortally afraid of teaching actual discipline, and you have a perfect storm. You make your child miserable, yourself miserable, and subject everyone else around you to an ordeal. All because you are too lazy or too cheap to leave your little one with a responsible baby sitter.

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owatonnabillJan. 22, 13 6:35 AM

Heh. Interesting. Not that long ago a kicking and screaming fit in a store meant a trip to the car and a warm backside. Amazing how that cut down on the tantrums.

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mensanJan. 22, 13 7:53 AM

There are better ways than corporeal punishment. That's really just as lazy a cop-out to true discipline as ignoring your darling little terror (esp. in public). Join us in the present and get yourself a reputable book on child development and healthy, democratic rearing practices.

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daveseavyJan. 23, 1310:59 PM

I don't think "corporeal punishment" is the answer for every problem, but I will say this: back when you were afraid to act up for fear of the consequences, kids weren't getting thrown in jail all the time. Teachers weren't threatened by a mouthy out of control student, and kids weren't murdering their families. As far as "joining you in the present" I see what "the present" has accomplished. No thank you.

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Thumper5316Jan. 24, 13 1:25 PM

mensan, first I think you are referring to corporal punishment and corporal punishment is not synonymous with child abuse. A good, swift swat is a great attention getter and a parent needs to get the child’s attention before the child can be reasoned with. Second, most child rearing books, reputable or not, are full of garbage and aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. Third, any child rearing practice should NOT be democratic. I always referred to it as a benevolent dictatorship. There is no bargaining when it comes to acceptable behavior or rules. Small children need a loving, stable, familiar, and comfortable environment in order to become well adjusted. Foisting them into daycare is no way to do that. A parent can’t know their child’s mood signals if they are around them only a couple of hours a day. Cute notes from a daycare provider are no substitute for investing the time needed getting to truly know your child.

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gunflintmamaJan. 27, 13 1:37 AM

My parents punished my bottom as long as I lived under their roof (23 years!) and I must honestly say it did me a lot more good than it did harm. Parents are afraid these days to take their little darling's pants down, but I say it will be a second consecutive generation of spoiled, ill-behaved people being let loose on society.

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