Carolyn Hax: Why can't in-law host Thanksgiving?

  • Article by: CAROLYN HAX
  • Updated: November 29, 2012 - 2:32 PM

Big gatherings create family stress.

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  • Comments

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  • 1 - 8 of 8
vegasgalNov. 30, 12 9:44 AM

Finally some common sense. Take the oldest generation out to a nice restaurant and have small gatherings with the grandchildren at their homes. Huge holiday gatherings are really too much to host anymore. It only makes the hostess exhausted and bitter. Just say no.

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momof4wiNov. 30, 1210:33 AM

When families get too large for any one family to host, rent a hall, or meeting room at the local hotel. Whether you decide to entertain at home, or at another location, ask each family to bring a dish to pass, and assign those that are unable to cook, the job of furnishing disposable dinnerware,flatware, napkins, and cups for the gang, while you would furnish the turkey or ham. The variety of dishes to pass, and the work involved to host such an event is practically eliminated, and everyone gets to enjoy the time toether.

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hecklesNov. 30, 1211:39 AM

@vegasgal Nov. 30, 12 9:44 AM Finally some common sense. Take the oldest generation out to a nice restaurant and have small gatherings with the grandchildren at their homes. Huge holiday gatherings are really too much to host anymore. It only makes the hostess exhausted and bitter. Just say no.@ >>>Yup, make the need for more employees to miss the holidays with their families.

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hecklesNov. 30, 1211:42 AM

Nice response Carolyn you hit it right on the head! You have no right to be upset with an adult making a choice that is reasonable. Your mom or you can say no to hosting as well, Im sure someone else will take over. Overall, you dont have to do anything. Maybe sister in law has decided to spend Thanksgiving with her children and husband in a a quieter setting, maybe if her kids are grown and gone she no longer feels the need for the big meal or maybe she is ill????

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pokey2008Nov. 30, 12 2:08 PM

to Heckles: Going to a restaurant can be a blessing - everyone in the family eats what they want to, they relax, and they give the server a nice tip for the job well done. If you don't go to the restaurant you aren't stopping the restaurant from being open. You are making the server less busy and getting less $ than they would get - and need.

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elynn1Nov. 30, 12 5:43 PM

And if it bothers you to "make" waiters and waitresses, cooks and dishwashers, work on Thanksgiving -- then have your holiday restaurant gathering on Saturday instead.

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hecklesDec. 3, 12 2:51 PM

Pokey, yes, if less people go to any business on a holiday, it does make and impact and the business sees that. It doesnt bother me elynn because I choose to not to go to businesses that are open on holidays.

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davethedogDec. 4, 12 5:05 PM

If people were just honest with each other about these holidays just think of the anguish we all could save......---Because, if you don't have any fun hosting, it's pretty much guaranteed your guests aren't enjoying it either!

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