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To the 42 year old pregnany woman: You already have alot more than alot of us have. Count your blessings and stand by your husband.
I'd tell the husband that one way to stay young is to hang out with young people, esp. your kids. It's natural he's worried about finances and retirement--these days, who isn't? But, I've never known anyone whose had a child later in life to end up regretting it. Plus the other child will have a sibling, which will come in handy when they have to decide what to do with dad when he's no longer able to take care of himself.
One selfish dude...
amazon/kindle will let you publish a book free. Theres a gal who not too long ago made it on the best seller list with a book she published that way. ITs free, no harm no foul and maybe he could get some input from the worls by checking his reviews. Support him and let him know about this awesome way to try to get started;)
Theres people out there who never will have kids nor have the resources to adopt etc. Count your blessings. This baby is a miracle by the sounds of it. Tell dad he should have mentioned he was done when he decided he didnt want any more kids and maybe should have had a vasectomy.
My guess is, this isn't the first time your husband has acted like a jerk. Take time to take stock of what you're really dealing with - you're very young and have a lot of life left. As someone who has lost two children, think very carefully about your priorities and your next move.
The lady has one child and one husband. She has to think about what she wants more: another child, or her husband. For me, the choice would be easy:keep hubby and do the best with the family you now have. But if she chooses the child, she also chooses financial insecurity for everyone: ex-husband, both children, herself.
If you ask me, she's the selfish one. She's got one kid, be thankful, and let her husband get what he wants this time around.
A man can shoot the breeze with regards to being a dad, but once a woman reaches a certain age, "that's IT" as far as being a mother is concerned (_especially_ for a woman who doesn't have kids already). In fact, the world's oldest first-time dad now living was 94 when he had his first child, whereas it is considered a "miracle" if a woman as young as 50 becomes a first time mom. Thus, men should be more considerate if a woman in her mid-40's seems to be 'losing her patience', because she won't have the same option to become a parent later in life as a man does.
I was 43 when my daughter was born, my wife was 36. My son was born 18 months later. It's without a doubt, the best time of my life. The time that I'm able to devote to them brings me happiness beyond measure.
Does your hubby harbor any paranoia that the baby isn't his? I can see that happening, especially if the fertility issues were on his side. At his age, I don't doubt that hubby is having his mid-life crisis. This isn't about what hubby wants. He had unprotected sex and the responsibility for that lies 50/50 with him. He should take responsibility for his actions and deal with the consequences. Your son will grow up, knowing what daddy chose, which is a legacy that will out-live his parents. At the very LEAST, carry that baby and deliver it to the loving arms of one of the thousands and thousands of couples who can't conceive on their own and are waiting to adopt a baby and give it a loving home. Then, you will know that with your sacrifice, you brought joy and happiness to them. That would be your wonderful legacy that would live on.
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