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"I don't want to judge." It is your obligation to "judge" bad behavior. Your silence makes you an accessory.
My mother told me to "kill them with kindness" was the best defense. It has always worked well for me. It highlights to all watching that the other person is behaving badly and shows you in a very good light as the more considered, gracious and mature person.
By the way, this woman's attitude is not representative of the Mormon folks that I have known. Living out West, you meet many Mormon folk and they are quite a varied group. One learns not to judge all by the actions of a few.
I like the idea of asking if they would like to speak to the Mgr about sitting at a different table, however it does show the Mgr that people are against her tattoos. The spitting in the food is only because wait staff have been shown to "hurt" the food that way if a client has annoyed them. I think simply smiling just a bit, and saying that you are not worried about going to Hell, will not damage their food, but would be glad to have the manager come over might be best to allay the problem and have all other customers be on your side might be best. And then not make any remarks except to the Mgr. (and I bet your other tips would be great!)
George, what silence are you talking about?
Mrs Snooty might be surprised to find out how many people have tattoos. I wonder if she would treat her doctor, lawyer, accountant etc in the same fashion.
Affairs are common because so many "friends" claim they don't want to judge others which in turn leads to very few consequences for the cheaters. Guess what? You've already judged the cheating to be wrong what you really need is a backbone to stand up to your friend and defend your beliefs. If you don't, you're implying your consent.
While I agree that the comments made by the friend's mother were completely inappropriate and out of line I do feel bothered by servers who have large, visable tattoos and piercings other than earrings. I'm sorry, call me a prude but, while some may consider it an artful form of expression others consider it offensive.
No, this actually IS all about religion. Read up on your book of Mormon. Judging of others is wholly accepted and encouraged. The censor won't let this by, especially in this presidential election year, but that won't change the truth.
I am disappointed that you stated the thoughtless woman's religion in your column at all. When do you read that "a Lutheran" or "a Catholic", etc., committed a crime? Yet, when "a Mormon" does something inappropriate, their religion is flagged. This woman was wrong, no matter what her religion is. And as to the comment that "this actually IS all about religion....in this presidential year", the media has carefully elected to ignore Pres Obama's past and present choice to worship or not, so please don't disparage Mitt Romney's faith. If someone would like honest and fair information about "Mormonism", they should ask an active Mormon or one of the missionaries, not someone with an axe to grind or someone who "once knew someone who said they knew someone who lived down the street from someone who they think was a Mormon, so they really know about those "Momons" (I hope you know what I'm trying to say). The Book of Mormon does NOT promote judgment of anyone, nor does the Mormon faith accept condemnation of others. Mormons are known throughout the world for their commitment to service and are always among the first to arrive when help is needed, no matter what color, creed or political affiliation of the person(s) or country. I have personally studied The Book of Mormon, and know its contents. It does not promote anti Christian behavior in any way. Also, three of my young adult children have beautiful, meaningful tattoos and I do not believe any of them will be "going to Hell". And yes, I am a Mormon.
@ljager@ Please tell me what is offensive about it?
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