Amy: When should health history be disclosed?

  • Article by: AMY DICKINSON
  • Updated: September 10, 2012 - 3:19 PM

Also: She doesn't want dad at her graduation party.

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jamue11eSep. 11, 1210:49 AM

Being someone with Bi-polar disorder, who used to be open about it, I have kind of stopped being quite so open with that info. There is a stigma that goes with it, people don't understand the illness, they think, "Oh, being manic would be fun"! (Ok, yes, moving furniture around the entire house in the middle of the night is great fun when you have to work at 8am). I used to let people know prior to being properly medicated. Now, I only tell people who are important to me, I have a reason to tell, (they are suffering from a mental illness) or yes, have seen the med bottles. Prior to finding my current therapist, I was looking for one, and when I got done with the initial appointment, she gave me her opinion of what she thought my issues were. She caught the OCD, the anxiety, but missed the BPD. When I mentioned it, she said, No, I wasn't bi-polar she didn't detect that. When I told my psych, she smiled and said that was the greatest compliment. I didn't understand. She said, I have done my job and gotten you the right medications. You have done your job by taking them. That was when I realized, people didn't need to know anymore. Only for the reasons above. I do have bad days, sometimes a few in a row. Sometimes I do need the dosages tweeked. But, I know how to be "normal" for the most part now. If I can do that, I'd wait to tell someone if it seems like the relationship has potential.

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mnmaggiemnSep. 11, 1212:50 PM

My fiance is BiPolar. It can be stressful now and then and I have learned how to deal and to help him. It is important that the one you love knows and understands how to deal with those days and help you to get through them. I dont think it is something you should hide but on the same token, if the relationship isnt serious, I dont see the need to reveal the info. My fiance got me all kinds of things to read to help me understand him and his meds, triggers, warning signs, etc etc. Most days are wonderful but the person you are with should have at least a basic understanding because otherwise, it is easy for a person to have a misunderstanding of why a person responds, reacts, etc etc and I have seen some female friends who dont understand think it is about them and the relationship ends because they dont understand it is not about them

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