Rosenblum: Loving families pitted against each other in adoption case

  • Article by: GAIL ROSENBLUM , Star Tribune
  • Updated: June 23, 2012 - 9:23 PM
  • 23
  • Comments

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jamue11eJun. 23, 12 8:13 PM

If the grandmother is fit, the girls should go with her. They are not that old yet. As an adopted person myself, being withheld from family that wants you because someone has built an addition to their home is ridiculous. Foster parents are just that fostering. The fact that state asked them to adopt when a known relative was asking about the girls is terrible. The State needs to be held accountable as well. Is it an adjustment for a couple of toddlers? Yes. But children are resilient. Children should be with family if they can.

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adoptauthorJun. 24, 1210:10 AM

Tis is not imply two equal loving families. This is FAMILY, kin, people with a biological. cultural, heritage, lineage, genealogical and DNA connection to their grandchildren versus total strangers of another culture. I was a foster mom and i know how attached you get. BUT...if you really love the children in your care you do what is in their best interest and the goal of foster care is REUNIFICATION. You know that going in! I know they had false hopes because the parents were unfair and the state did not do due diligence in finding extended family. But now that they are in the picture, do the decent and right - albeit painful - thing and let the girls be with their family. To withhold them is CRIMINAL and IMMORAL!! The hurt the fosterers will feel is unfortunate. but they are adults and must suffer a bit to do what is right and best for the children in their care. These kids have virtually lost their mother and father. They should not been deprived of the rest of their loving, caring and capable family!! If you love them, let them go!!! Seek visitation, but let them go!

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adoptauthorJun. 24, 1210:12 AM

The children have not become legally a part of their new family. They've not been adopted. The right legal and moral thing is to return them to their righteous family. There is no question. Will it be painful? Of course! But it is the only right thing.

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basia2186Jun. 24, 1211:33 AM

I'm going to predict the grandma gets the kids. She had a drug addicted son, both kids were born with cocaine in their systems. Keep them with the new and improved family.

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dahutysJun. 24, 1211:36 AM

The problem is, this is the same attitude that leads people to ask the parents of adopted children when they're going to have a "real" child (I knew an adoptee who said people would ask his parents that right in front of him). If people believe that sharing genetic material is more important than anything else, they're also going to believe if you're not actually biologically related, you don't really matter. You can't have it both ways.

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LiberalOne46Jun. 25, 1212:34 PM

I would feel differently if these girls had been placed in foster care at age two or three. They have no connection with their biological family. Their father is nothing more than a sperm donor. The deciding factor has to be the best interest of the girls...not the grandmother, biological parents, etc. Visitation rights shouldn't even be allowed. That will just confuse the girls. Let them grow up happy in the only environment they have known. Just like other adopted kids, they can find their biological roots later if they choose.

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pseudonymJun. 26, 12 9:36 AM

What ever happened to what's best for the children? Parental rights were lost because the "real" parents -- the biological connection everyone seems to obsess about -- placed cocaine in the blood of a tiny innocent baby. How is biology more important than parents that appear to be committed to giving these kids a chance?

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marymiskelJun. 26, 12 3:03 PM

I am the grandmother of these two loving children .In court they continue to say the kids had bonded with the foster family, when chilren are in fostercare they are there for unifacation with their bio family.I wanted to see my grands as soon as I found out they was born, I was denied, after being license and background was check I had hire a lawyer to visit them.I told the judge that how can a broke city pay $3500.00 to the foster parent and I will keep them for noting because they are my blood . The question is how can I bond with them and I was denied from day one, I am a license foster parent.

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marymiskelJun. 26, 12 5:29 PM

I AM A FRIEND OF THIS FAMIY FOR YEARS, THEY ARE A CLOSE KNIT FAMIY,MRS. DUNNING IS A ROLE MODEL FOR HER KIDS, SHE IS A CHRISTIAN WOMEN 1ST. HUSBAND WAS A PASTOR, 2ND HUSBAND IS A GOD SENT MAN, THOSE TWO ARE SO MUCH ALIKE MR.DUNNING IS SUCH A GOOD GRANDDADDY THE KIDS LOVE HIM, MR. AMD MRS. DUNNING GO AROUND PICKING UP GRANDS , CALLING THEM OVER AND FEEDING THEM, THE CHILDREN THAT THE CASE IS CENTER AROUNN FATHER HAVE MARRIED A YOUNG LADY AND THEY HAVE STARTED A FAMILY AND IS WORKING EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY MRS. DUNNING IS TALKING ABOUT HER GRANDS WANTING THEM TO ENJOY AND THAT THE CHILDREN WILL GET CHANCE TO MEET THEIR GREAT GRAND MOTHER WHO IS BED RIDDEN FOR YEARS NOW. THIS IS A CLOSE FAMILY THEY ARE ALL WAYS TOGETHER WITH THEIR CHILDREN I AM A DISTRICT MISSIONARY HERE IN MISSISSIPPI FROM THE CHURCH OF GOD IN CHRIST I AM A PRETTY GOOD JUDGE OF A FAMILY THAT FEAR GOD, WE ARE ASKING THE LORD TO WORK IN HER FAVOR, I AM A FOSTER CARE PARENT NO MATTER HOW I NOND WITH THEM THE OBJECTIVE IS TO BE REUNITED WITH THEIR FAMILY.

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mnmaggiemnJun. 27, 1210:26 PM

You people have it wrong. The parents may have been found with cocaine in their systems but that was not the grand parents. You all will complain that the state pays too much to what you all call charity but the family is willing to take these kids in, love them and not ask for a dime. LEGALLY a foster home is just that, a foster home. I am not saying that foster parents dont take care of or love the kids but the state was obligated to find family. The kids are young and if Minnesota gets this dealt with soon, they hopefully will have no recollection of what a traumatic situation this can be.

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