A fresh approach to ending family violence

  • Article by: GAIL ROSENBLUM , Star Tribune
  • Updated: April 13, 2011 - 9:53 PM
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  • Comments

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  • 1 - 8 of 8
grandame3Apr. 14, 1111:06 AM

were there any judges in attendance? they are the ones making these women stay in bad situations because of "parenting time" for the deadbeat, abusimve fathers. Maybe they need to really see what damage they are doing not only to the mothers, but look at the damage they are causing the children. those innocent souls that are required by his decree that they spend time with these men. How many of them will end up in horrible relationships because of being forced to spend time with someone who doesn't really care about them-they just want to control the mothers & the judges make sure the mothers can't get any help from families because they are forcing them to live in certain areas instead of allowing them to move in with family that wants them. So no matter what you are doing-- teach the judges what they are doing. Maybe they will learn to do their jobs to the best interest of the children.

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viking53Apr. 14, 11 1:52 PM

grandame3. By your way of thinking only men are abusive. I can think of at least three marriages where the woman is the physical abuser. But men try to keep these relationships quiet because they think other men will laugh at them. Many times they do. One thing we have to remember but tend to forget is that men are more physical and women are more vocal. Perhaps it would help if women would learn how to tone down the rhetoric. I'm not saying this is the only cause for physical abuse, but maybe it would help. I'm also of the opinion that women should get and learn how to use a gun. This may not solve things in all cases, but there would be a number of women still alive if they had shot their abusive partner. There is still a very long way to go in solving abuse by both men and women, but we have started and are making progress everyday. Let's just not give up and stop.

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bart1959Apr. 14, 11 2:01 PM

The comment above is not only an offensive rant, it is evidentiary of the stereotypical bias propogated by the "abuse industry". This is an arm of Divorce Inc., which has managed to set society's rate of divorce at over 50%, while profiting from the adversarial situations it propogates. How? By using the children as pawns. Is it any wonder that men lose their tempers when their money and freedonm are taken by activist judges operating with NO OVERSIGHT in the "family court" system who are in the pockets of the radical feminists (abuse industry aka "the man-haters club"), and the liberal bar association - whose attorneys profit from all of the adversary engagement. Yet, when reasonable people and politicians offer up legislation like HF322, which seeks to establish a presumption of joint custody of the children of divorce and separation in MN , it is these same arrogant, corrupt, nay, evil, fools who try to shout it down. The destruction of the family is at the very heart of the communist / socialist / loony liberal left utopian dream. Lenin recognized it. So did Hitler. Look at what liberal social policies did to the black family if you need an example closer to "home". Never, EVER give up on your children.

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mmcfetrApr. 14, 11 5:25 PM

At some point, the man and woman chose to be together. Then what happened? Then abuse happened. No one should stay in an abusive relationship. Bad for the abused, bad for the children. Whether verbal or physical abuse, the adults in the relationship must move out and move forward. If one can't do that, there must be laws and services in place to make sure that the children are safe.

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janders50Apr. 15, 11 6:00 AM

start when your young and accept no physical abuse or threats of physical harm -get out-you are better off alone. as for verbal abuse try talking it out-if you can reach no mutual agreement or you cannot even agree to disagree-get out as it will likely lead to physical abuse.

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JMarvinApr. 17, 11 2:25 AM

The article posits the perennial problem: how are we going to get past the not-listening? Well, we could try talking to the right people. If the all services for leaving the relationship and punishing the abuser model obviously isn't reducing the violence, how about a realistic non-politically correct look at the dynamics of an abusive relationship? This is not a simple dynamic. Abused partners will call the police when they think they are in imminent danger of being killed, but then jump on the officer's back when he is arresting the guy. A large majority of the "victims" ultimately refuse to "press charges" or testify against the abuser, even after they are free from that person. They choose to stay or go back, time after time, for whatever reason. The typical conventional approach is to take the woman and her "property," which are the children, away, against her own will if necessary, and to crush the man like a cockroach, legally, financially, and criminally. You create a really, really dangerous person with nothing to lose. This harsh approach obviously hasn't reduced domestic violence one bit.

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shoebaccaApr. 20, 11 1:25 PM

Omg, viking53, did you really suggest that “if women would learn how to tone down the rhetoric,” it could prevent them from being victims of physical violence and beatings??? Wow. You have no idea how much a part of the problem your attitude really is. Then you suggest women bring guns into the home? Do you honestly believe bringing a gun into a violent household is any kind of a solution? Prisons are filled with women who have shot their partners in defense. Who suffers? The kids being raised by family members or foster care without a mom or a dad. I’m trying not to come down too hard on you, but I have to point out the absurdity in your words. Pls rethink everything.

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jrtruth21May. 1, 11 6:29 PM

If you took 100 cases of so called 'domestic violence' you would find that at least 50% or more are about cases where the woman wants to withhold children from seeing their father. They use the whole domestic violence shroud to hide behind so they can inflict emotional harm on their ex. As soon as he raises his voice because he can't see his kids....she calls the cops, 'he threatened me!' Blah blah blah, cowards and liars are what these women are, destroying relationships they have no right to!

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