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Mom you go ahead with this and youre sure to lose your daughters respect. What it tells her,is that you dont trust her to make wise choices, and have no faith in the ones shes made previously. Quite the slap in the face for her, and something shell never forget! She'll pay for her own wedding- no problem, because she is convinced she has found "Mr right". If you have a close relationship now, dont bet on the same after she marries. A good many of us parents would like to see our kids wait til theyre 25 before they jump into marriage. Its a time for them to go out,enjoy their freedom, and travel. Once they get married, hopefully, it will be to the right one,and remain married the celebrate MANY anniversaries together.
but not about marriage; I wanted to go to a first rate college and major in journalism. I got in, too, early admission.
My parents told me no. If I wanted to go to state school and become a teacher, they'd help pay for it. Otherwise, I was on my own.
Fast forward 20 years, and my father apologized for it; literally on his death bed. It shaped my life in a very negative way, crippled my self esteem, and permanently strained my relationship with my parents.
I'm still trying to get my degree.
He strongly disliked my husband from the moment we met. He wasn't good enough, handsome enough, rich enough etc etc. He took every opportunity to make things difficult until the day I moved out. We didn't speak for nearly 14 years after that. Today we are finally working to re-build a relationship -- and my husband and I will celebrate 24 years of marriage in April.
You have to trust the job you did as a parent and take a step back. Let your "child" live their life, make their decisions, and *gasp* maybe make a mistake or two. Love them enough to just be there when you are needed, but do NOT give them the type of ultimatum that could destroy your relationship for years to come!
Best decision I ever made.
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