She fears friend will resent her pregnancy

  • Article by: CAROLYN HAX
  • Updated: September 12, 2010 - 2:30 PM
  • 2
  • Comments

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katiuszaSep. 15, 10 8:05 PM

You are really not alone. My husband and I 'dated' for 7 years before we married. I had a family plan. God had other plans. We had a miscarriage, adopted our first child, and miraculously birthed our 2nd child (5 year gap). A friend who got pregnant 'at the drop of a hat' was pregnant simultaneously with me. She consoled me in my anguish over the years, and shared my happiness during my pregnancy. When we decided to try for a 3rd (and final) child, we could not get pregnant. We went to lunch one day, and she felt so bad giving me the news that she was pregnant again. I was sad, but certainly not resentful. Found out shortly afterwards that we were pregnant simultaneously, again. Your friend loves you. She is sad for herself, not for you. Allow her to share your happiness.

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calico925Sep. 19, 1010:00 PM

Dear Carolyn, I have been there. I had a great friend since high school. After we were both married we both had trouble becoming pregnant. After a few years, she finally became pregnant. I never could, after many surgeries and tests. I attended her showers and baptisms but finally had to break off the friendship as all she cared to do was talk about herself and her children. Never did she care how I felt or ask how I was doing, it was always about her children. If I changed the subject, she went right back to her children. This hurt, too much.

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